sandra | 17 | ✞ | ruse 12.
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i rarely listen screamo music, but keep it on my ipod because it makes me feel hardcore
i chase birds so i can get a good shot of them in flight
i take half an hour to cut up fruit because i like to arrange them nicely into different shapes and patterns
my favourite aisle in the supermarket is the toiletries aisle because i love to sniff the deo and feel the tongue cleaner samples on the toothbrush packets
i drink a lot of pool water when i'm swimming, but not on purpose
i like to drink cream straight out of the bottle o;
IM ALSO DATING L AND WOOHYUN OF INFINITE LOL I DREAMT IT SO IT MUST BE TRUE



doing: ag
eating: i actually dont eat when im on the computer ._.
mood: .__. <
thoughts: 'i should do ag'
music: A Man Left Behind - Fei Comodo





#1 the feel of pacer writing on looseleaf paper on a hard surface
#2 the crunch of gravel beneath your feet
#3 the smell of rain
#4 the nolstagic feeling of listening to an old favourite song you haven't for a while
#5 mountain dew
#6 a new inky highlighter
#7 the sound of shattering glass
#8 opening a soft drink can
#9 the clunk of ice in a wineglass
#10 the patter of rain on an umbrella
#11 the perfect roasted marshmallow
#12 poking a sea cucumber LOL
#13 the sound of the net when you swish in basketball


anberlin. avenged sevenfold.
B2ST. between the trees.
the cat empire.
dbsk
emery
F. Cuz. fei comodo. ft island.
good charlotte.
italobrothers. INFINITE
justin bieber.
karnivool.
mika. muse.
nickelback.
rise against. red hot chili peppers.
the script. SE7EN. SHINee.
teen top. tenth avenue north. trial kennedy
the used.
waking ashland.


billy elliot
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind




- skydiving
- watch the northern lights
- go backpacking in south america
- hot air balloon over a sunrise
- dress as a seagull and steal chips
- step in wet cement
- get a boy cut and pretend to be male for a day
- WATCH SWAN LAKE LIVE
- go to a snowing beach
- sleep on a beach
- learn hypnosis



when i grow up....
IM GONNA BE FAMOUS, IM GONNA.. jks.
here's the dream
- microbiologist/pathologist half the time
- advertising sector in a big company and manipulate people and make ads the other half of the time (only coz getting into the film industry is too hard)
and inbetween;
~play in musical orchestras
~work at fancy restaurants at the waterside at night
~draw famous comics
~arrange flowers
~ BEING ONE OF THOSE BACKUP DANCERS IS SO COOL. but i cant dance.
SOUNDS GOOD



white rabens
fully black cons
A CHANG MIN POSTERRRRR bonnie's beaut drawing skills ;)
A BEAST IS THE B2ST POSTER
wallet
a beautiful harddrive thanks dom :D
LOTS OF OREOS
a clear plastic umbrella
LYNX AFRICA DEO LOLOL ty jeff LOL

ALBUMS!
idno. i dont really listen to the actual cd, but i hve a thing about owning the hard copy. :L
Cities - Anberlin
The Sufferer and the Witness - Rise Against
Spain - Between the Trees
Wolfmother - Wolfmother thanks mandaaaa
They All Have Two Faces - Fei Comodo
Stadium Arcadium - rhcp ty kerry sun ^^
avenged sevenfold - avenged sevenfold
no really, i'm fine - the spill canvas
until the end of time - opshop
SHOCK OF THE NEW EERA - B2ST
WHY - DBSK
Lies for the Liars - The Used
The Script - The script
NEVERLAND - UKISS

dammit. i've gotten distracted on the internet again while i still have a heapload of work to do.

today, i felt like writing a high post about what happened, and they are pretty exciting, but i dont feel it anymore.

since tina and manda's meme's are making me curious and sad,
i wish i had the relationships other people do. maybe i do, but i just dont realise it.
i seem to know more people, blah blah blah, but. other people seem to be closer. they have people to lean on. and i feel. out. even with old friends who used to.
1. I miss you. and i'm jealous. whenever we're alone together, and i feel happy again, you don't seem to be that into me, and we have to focus on trivial things to keep it not awkward. trivial things and abuse. and you ask ' Where's _____?' and i feel intensely jealous, but we go look. and i'm sad,
2. i'm jealous of you two, even though you constantly seem to be annoyed at each other, how you sometimes hate each other's guts, yet you always stick by each other. pretty much no matter what.
jealousy jealousy, all that jealousy. maybe i should focus on what's good in my life.
some days, i want to go isolate myself on an island for the rest of my life. i don;t mind being alone. actually, i think i do, if everyone else has everyone else. but truly isolated, that'd be alright, i think.
i think i prefer people when they're alone, even if it might be awkward alone. In a crowd, everyone is so trying to please, i think. maybe they dont realise it, and i probably do it too, and saying so doesn;t make it good, but i dont know. i don't like it. and it seems show offy and blatant. and maybe that's just coz everyone knows everyone so well and thats what they do.
it's hard to find the energy to join in, coz half the time, it doesnt work. its easier to just sit there and watch.
before, if you just sat there and watched, people might ask 'are you ok' i hate that. do they really care? and who tells the truth anyway.
it wouldve been better, if i had been born a happy ignorant, selfless person.
damn, i am so selfish. its my character. thinking of others. its a gift. i wish i wasnt so selfish.
i hate it when people seem to try to sound deep. and i know a lot of the time i sound like a hypocrite. but when you're 'deep,' everyone else kind of seems fake.
i dont know if i prefer the happy high or the 'deep'. its like ignorance is bliss.
i miss being a child. its not really deep. its just calm. you feel like youre watching, just watching, maybe judging. that feeling. is it a feeling of superiority? that's not good. i feel like i understand and no one else does, although many other people probably do.
you know suiciders, theyre always like. 'OH SHE SUICIDED COZ OF ALL THE HOMEWORK PRESSURE,' or stuff liek that. but. i dont think so.
i think, they just got tired of this world, of keeping up with everything. everyone.
relationships are so hard to keep up. and they took the easy way out. the only way out.
i think, they would kill themselves, but if they got a cancer, they wouldn't want to die. i dont know. maybe it's that feeling of one last control over your life.